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schizoauthoressTitle: Dreams of No Consequence
Author: D.L.SchizoAuthoress
Rating: R
Spoilers: set during '52' and 'World War Three'
Prompt/Fill: None
Warnings: language, sexual situations (nothing too explicit, I kinda dance around it), Eddie Bloomberg/Jason Todd pairing
Word Count: 2208
Summary: Things aren't quite right with Eddie. But maybe eventually they can be.
Word of the Day: besot, verb:
1. To infatuate; obsess.
2. To intoxicate or stupefy with drink.
3. To make stupid or foolish: a mind besotted with fear and superstition.
Note: Part of the Revenir!verse. Last scene's tense change is on purpose.
Dreams of No Consequence
'Couches,' Eddie mused as he stood, stretched, and tried to work some feeling back into his numbed shoulder, 'are not the best places to spend a lot of time.' Beyond the closed window blinds of the living room, there was the faint glow of dawn, and somehow that sight made him feel more tired than he had been just moments ago. He listened to Jason rattling around in the kitchen -- putting away their mugs and starting the dishwasher -- and shuffled his feet to get his blood flowing better. He had no clue what their sleeping arrangements would be. Even with all the making out they'd done, he didn't want to presume...
Jason brushed a hand against Eddie's hip before pressing himself a little closer. He liked the way that Eddie startled at the contact and then almost immediately softened upon realizing that it was him, and resolved to annouce his presence like that more often. "There's only one bed, but it's pretty big. If you're not comfortable sharing, I can take the couch."
"Oh." Eddie turned his head to look at Jason, then adjusted his gaze a little bit up (he wasn't yet used to the increased height difference when they were standing). "I... I don't mind."
"Cool," Jason said, and dropped a kiss to Eddie's cheek. "Bedroom's over here."
Eddie bit his lip as Jason casually took his hand and led the way down the hall. 'It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't mean anything...' he told himself repeatedly, and ended up tripping over the rug at the foot of the bed.
"Watch yourself," Jason said, and his hand moved to grab Eddie by the elbow to steady him.
"I'm okay," Eddie replied. He had to roll his eyes a little at Jason's concern.
The bed was a big one -- queen sized, with a fancy wooden bed frame. There was a chair in the corner on the left side, piled with a bunch of fancy pillows. The only ones left at the head of the bed were two flat standard-size pillows, and the comforter didn't match the fancy pillows. But it looked very comfortable, and Eddie pulled back the corner of the blankets.
Denim wasn't going to be comfortable to sleep in, as Eddie knew from experience. So he unfastened his fly and stepped out of the jeans, shaking them out carefully before folding them up again and setting them on top of the bedside table. He left his t-shirt on, in addition to his...
"...Captain Carrot boxers?"
Eddie looked up. Jason was standing on the other side of the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs, hands on his hips and eyebrow raised as he inspected Eddie's sartorial choices. Eddie scowled, even as he felt an embarrassed flush coloring his cheeks.
"Captain Carrot," Eddie said sharply, putting his own hands on his hips, "rocks."
"Keep telling yourself that, K.D."
"Thank you, I will," Eddie said, affecting a snooty nonchalance and lifting his nose. A second later, he got a faceful of pillow and stumbled back, managing to catch the pillow as it dropped. He laughed and threw the pillow back. "Better keep that, because I'm not sharing."
"Sure, sure..."
****
So much for not sharing.
Jason woke up with Eddie pressed up close to his back, one arm draped across his chest. He squirmed a bit, uncomfortable with the restraint inherent in such a position. After a moment, Eddie murmured something indistinct against the back of his neck and loosened his hold. Jason took his hand and pushed it down to rest on his waist, letting out a small, relieved sigh when Eddie didn't try to move it back.
He reached back and petted Eddie's thigh, wrinkling those silly boxers even more. 'What am I even doing?' Jason wondered. He'd been riding on a rush from Eddie's responsiveness the night before, but that had long since faded, leaving behind only his self-doubt and worry. 'This is Eddie. He'll think I'm still the same person I was, and I'll only hurt him when he finds out all the things I've--'
"Mrph." Eddie mumbled, shifting his hips to press his whole body up against Jason's, and Jason's brain... shorted out.
"Eddie..?" Jason hated the way his voice nearly cracked.
"Mmn," Eddie rubbed his face against Jason's shoulder and somehow wriggled himself closer. Jason bit his lip hard. He hadn't missed how Eddie would hesitate or pull back just a little if he got too forward last night. And Jason wasn't dumb enough to think that morning wood and sleepy clinginess meant that Eddie was actually okay with doing sexual things, and doing them with Jason.
"Eddie, are you awake?"
"Fmm m're minutes..." Eddie muttered.
"Eddie," Jason said, more sharply this time.
Eddie groaned, "O-kay. I'm up, I'm up, I'm up..."
"I'll say," Jason replied dryly, unable to help himself. Eddie made an embarrassed squeaking noise and there was a little gust of cooler air against Jason's back a moment later, as Eddie scooted backward away from him. Jason glanced over his shoulder. "It's not like I mind...."
"Oh, hell." Eddie's face was bright red, and he was pointedly not looking back at Jason.
Jason rolled over so that he was facing Eddie. He smiled slightly, suggestively, and asked, "Did you want a hand with that?"
"Do I... wha-- Jason!" Eddie spluttered.
Jason huffed out a little laugh at Eddie's gobsmacked expression. "You can say 'no' if I'm moving too fast. I know most people like to go on a first date before trading handjobs."
Eddie blinked. It took him a second, but he realized that even if Jason was making a sincere offer, he was also teasing Eddie by phrasing things in an outrageous way. Eddie bit his lip and replied, with a shy little smile, "A first date would be nice..."
"I can be nice," Jason assured him. He couldn't resist reaching out to touch Eddie's leg, tracing the details of his knee absently. "I can be very nice."
Eddie giggled. "I know." His expression went more serious as he brushed his fingertips against Jason's cheek. Something dark and undefinable flickered in his eyes for a moment, before his mouth firmed with determination, and he leaned forward to press a kiss to Jason's lips. He repeated, soft and strained, "I know," as he pulled back after, and Jason gave him a slightly uncertain smile.
"Eddie, are you..?"
"I'm... we're okay, Jason. You're not doing anything wrong."
Jason frowned slightly. "But something is wrong."
"It's... I just need you to go slow," Eddie explained, dropping his gaze away from Jason's. He wasn't sure he could look into those perceptive blue eyes without telling Jason everything, which would definitely chase him off, best friend or no. "I need... I don't know what's okay for me."
"We don't have to do anything."
"I know. That's why..." Eddie curled a hand around Jason, and his voice dropped to a whisper as he stroked, "That's why you're safe."
Something wasn't right about that phrasing, Jason knew. He knew, but he'd be damned if he could think of why -- Eddie's hand on him felt so good, after years of wanting, that he could barely think at all beyond 'more' and 'need' and 'Eddie'.
"Eddie..!" Jason moaned, shuddering and pressing more into the touch.
"Good..?" Eddie asked, and then he did something with his hands that just -- Jason didn't have the words at all, but he wanted to tell Eddie how that made him feel anyway. Eddie laughed warmly at the breathless babble that was all Jason could manage, and kissed his throat. "I love you, too."
****
Eddie washed his hands carefully. It hadn't been as bad as he'd worried about -- his own reaction, of course, not Jason's. He adored watching Jason react to his hands, his kisses... but Eddie knew that he had problems, and there was always that fear that Jason would unwittingly do something to trigger a bad memory.
Eddie rinsed off his hands, holding his hands under the spigot until all the soap suds had vanished down the drain. He dried his hands off on the hand towel nearby and walked back into the bedroom. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation that likely awaited him, but putting it off would just make Jason worry more, no doubt.
Jason was still lounging on the bed -- he'd cleaned up a little, using his discarded shirt from last night to wipe up -- and he opened his eyes at Eddie's approach. His expression was worried, but it cleared when Eddie smiled warmly at him and crawled back into bed.
"Eddie?"
"All clean," Eddie said softly, "I feel better when I'm cleaned up."
"Then by all means," Jason wrapped an arm around him and tugged him closer. Eddie giggled and scooted closer. Jason sounded a little uncertain when he next spoke, asking, "Do... do you want me to...? Can I touch you now? Or is that too much?"
Eddie went quiet, thinking it over. Jason waited patiently for his answer, and Eddie felt even more affection for him in that moment. "I don't know," Eddie said honestly. "We can try..."
"I want to make you feel good, too. But if you don't want to... if you'd rather take care of it yourself, or whatever..."
Eddie took hold of Jason's free hand. "We can try," he repeated, and leaned in to kiss Jason on the mouth. "Go slow for me."
Jason kissed back, soft and sweet and lingering. "Whatever you need from me, Eddie. I love you." Eddie smiled at that and drew his hand in.
****
The next days are spent quietly -- save for Jason's nighttime activities as Nightwing. They've both gone through changes in the years that have gone by, changes in appearance and personality and even beliefs. They've lost a lot of people, through death and otherwise. Eddie is quieter than he used to be; his smiles don't come nearly as easily. Jason is more prone to fidgeting and distraction, quicker to anger (though it often dissipates just as quickly), and he reacts poorly to being surprised. But they're learning how to live together.
Sometimes Eddie wonders how he ever got by without things as they are. By the third night, he finds he can't sleep well without Jason's bulk beside him in the bed (even if Jason constantly kicks the covers all the way off and onto the floor). The evening afterward, Jason asks if Eddie wants to accompany him while he's out 'Nightwinging it'.
"Oh. I... I probably shouldn't," Eddie answers, privately thinking that he'd just slow Jason down. He's out of practice and he was never very good at being Kid Devil... at least, that's what he thinks.
"Busy with some other project?" Jason asks with a smile. The Eddie he knew usually had some kind of idea he was trying to make a reality.
Eddie scratches the back of his neck. It's been a while since he built -- or rebuilt and improved -- anything. "Not lately," he says, "and there's no workshop here, anyway. Though I really should fix the rocket trident."
Jason nods, and then he starts talking about his current case, and Eddie thinks that's the end of it.
Two days later, Jason moves them out of the sublet apartment and into a warehouse in the shipyard. The upper level has been converted into living quarters, and about half of the storage space on the first level is empty.
"Whatever you need for your work," Jason tells Eddie, with a sweeping gesture to the open space, "goes there." He hands Eddie a plain black checkbook. "This is an extra bank account I use to fund my crime-fighting gadgets, so it's no big deal if you use it for your stuff."
Eddie flips open the plastic cover, reading the names on the header of the first blank check (there's no address listed). "Jasper Liu and Ken Malloy?"
"A couple burn IDs I made up. You can sign as Ken Malloy -- don't think I've used 'him' yet." Jason pauses, then taps his chin. "Speaking of 'burn'. I stuck fire extinguishers along the walls at five foot intervals and there's some guys coming tomorrow to install an overhead fire suppression system, so don't set any big fires until then, dude."
"Fire is your thing," Eddie protests.
"And accidental fire is yours," Jason retorts.
Eddie gives him an affronted little shove on the shoulder, and Jason laughs, moving to give Eddie a noogie. Eddie ducks under his arms, and just reacts when Jason spins on one heel to give chase -- he drops to the ground in a crouch and sweeps Jason's leg.
Jason takes the fall, rolling clear of Eddie's range. He beams at Eddie like Eddie did something right, which is damn confusing. "You still got it," he tells the redhead proudly.
Eddie's really not sure if Jason is right.
But with all this space, all this freedom, and -- Eddie opens the balance ledger side of the checkbook and lets out a low whistle -- all this money, it would be a shame not to come up with something that Jason can use as Nightwing.
*-*-*-*
Author: D.L.SchizoAuthoress
Rating: R
Spoilers: set during '52' and 'World War Three'
Prompt/Fill: None
Warnings: language, sexual situations (nothing too explicit, I kinda dance around it), Eddie Bloomberg/Jason Todd pairing
Word Count: 2208
Summary: Things aren't quite right with Eddie. But maybe eventually they can be.
Word of the Day: besot, verb:
1. To infatuate; obsess.
2. To intoxicate or stupefy with drink.
3. To make stupid or foolish: a mind besotted with fear and superstition.
Note: Part of the Revenir!verse. Last scene's tense change is on purpose.
Dreams of No Consequence
'Couches,' Eddie mused as he stood, stretched, and tried to work some feeling back into his numbed shoulder, 'are not the best places to spend a lot of time.' Beyond the closed window blinds of the living room, there was the faint glow of dawn, and somehow that sight made him feel more tired than he had been just moments ago. He listened to Jason rattling around in the kitchen -- putting away their mugs and starting the dishwasher -- and shuffled his feet to get his blood flowing better. He had no clue what their sleeping arrangements would be. Even with all the making out they'd done, he didn't want to presume...
Jason brushed a hand against Eddie's hip before pressing himself a little closer. He liked the way that Eddie startled at the contact and then almost immediately softened upon realizing that it was him, and resolved to annouce his presence like that more often. "There's only one bed, but it's pretty big. If you're not comfortable sharing, I can take the couch."
"Oh." Eddie turned his head to look at Jason, then adjusted his gaze a little bit up (he wasn't yet used to the increased height difference when they were standing). "I... I don't mind."
"Cool," Jason said, and dropped a kiss to Eddie's cheek. "Bedroom's over here."
Eddie bit his lip as Jason casually took his hand and led the way down the hall. 'It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't mean anything...' he told himself repeatedly, and ended up tripping over the rug at the foot of the bed.
"Watch yourself," Jason said, and his hand moved to grab Eddie by the elbow to steady him.
"I'm okay," Eddie replied. He had to roll his eyes a little at Jason's concern.
The bed was a big one -- queen sized, with a fancy wooden bed frame. There was a chair in the corner on the left side, piled with a bunch of fancy pillows. The only ones left at the head of the bed were two flat standard-size pillows, and the comforter didn't match the fancy pillows. But it looked very comfortable, and Eddie pulled back the corner of the blankets.
Denim wasn't going to be comfortable to sleep in, as Eddie knew from experience. So he unfastened his fly and stepped out of the jeans, shaking them out carefully before folding them up again and setting them on top of the bedside table. He left his t-shirt on, in addition to his...
"...Captain Carrot boxers?"
Eddie looked up. Jason was standing on the other side of the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs, hands on his hips and eyebrow raised as he inspected Eddie's sartorial choices. Eddie scowled, even as he felt an embarrassed flush coloring his cheeks.
"Captain Carrot," Eddie said sharply, putting his own hands on his hips, "rocks."
"Keep telling yourself that, K.D."
"Thank you, I will," Eddie said, affecting a snooty nonchalance and lifting his nose. A second later, he got a faceful of pillow and stumbled back, managing to catch the pillow as it dropped. He laughed and threw the pillow back. "Better keep that, because I'm not sharing."
"Sure, sure..."
****
So much for not sharing.
Jason woke up with Eddie pressed up close to his back, one arm draped across his chest. He squirmed a bit, uncomfortable with the restraint inherent in such a position. After a moment, Eddie murmured something indistinct against the back of his neck and loosened his hold. Jason took his hand and pushed it down to rest on his waist, letting out a small, relieved sigh when Eddie didn't try to move it back.
He reached back and petted Eddie's thigh, wrinkling those silly boxers even more. 'What am I even doing?' Jason wondered. He'd been riding on a rush from Eddie's responsiveness the night before, but that had long since faded, leaving behind only his self-doubt and worry. 'This is Eddie. He'll think I'm still the same person I was, and I'll only hurt him when he finds out all the things I've--'
"Mrph." Eddie mumbled, shifting his hips to press his whole body up against Jason's, and Jason's brain... shorted out.
"Eddie..?" Jason hated the way his voice nearly cracked.
"Mmn," Eddie rubbed his face against Jason's shoulder and somehow wriggled himself closer. Jason bit his lip hard. He hadn't missed how Eddie would hesitate or pull back just a little if he got too forward last night. And Jason wasn't dumb enough to think that morning wood and sleepy clinginess meant that Eddie was actually okay with doing sexual things, and doing them with Jason.
"Eddie, are you awake?"
"Fmm m're minutes..." Eddie muttered.
"Eddie," Jason said, more sharply this time.
Eddie groaned, "O-kay. I'm up, I'm up, I'm up..."
"I'll say," Jason replied dryly, unable to help himself. Eddie made an embarrassed squeaking noise and there was a little gust of cooler air against Jason's back a moment later, as Eddie scooted backward away from him. Jason glanced over his shoulder. "It's not like I mind...."
"Oh, hell." Eddie's face was bright red, and he was pointedly not looking back at Jason.
Jason rolled over so that he was facing Eddie. He smiled slightly, suggestively, and asked, "Did you want a hand with that?"
"Do I... wha-- Jason!" Eddie spluttered.
Jason huffed out a little laugh at Eddie's gobsmacked expression. "You can say 'no' if I'm moving too fast. I know most people like to go on a first date before trading handjobs."
Eddie blinked. It took him a second, but he realized that even if Jason was making a sincere offer, he was also teasing Eddie by phrasing things in an outrageous way. Eddie bit his lip and replied, with a shy little smile, "A first date would be nice..."
"I can be nice," Jason assured him. He couldn't resist reaching out to touch Eddie's leg, tracing the details of his knee absently. "I can be very nice."
Eddie giggled. "I know." His expression went more serious as he brushed his fingertips against Jason's cheek. Something dark and undefinable flickered in his eyes for a moment, before his mouth firmed with determination, and he leaned forward to press a kiss to Jason's lips. He repeated, soft and strained, "I know," as he pulled back after, and Jason gave him a slightly uncertain smile.
"Eddie, are you..?"
"I'm... we're okay, Jason. You're not doing anything wrong."
Jason frowned slightly. "But something is wrong."
"It's... I just need you to go slow," Eddie explained, dropping his gaze away from Jason's. He wasn't sure he could look into those perceptive blue eyes without telling Jason everything, which would definitely chase him off, best friend or no. "I need... I don't know what's okay for me."
"We don't have to do anything."
"I know. That's why..." Eddie curled a hand around Jason, and his voice dropped to a whisper as he stroked, "That's why you're safe."
Something wasn't right about that phrasing, Jason knew. He knew, but he'd be damned if he could think of why -- Eddie's hand on him felt so good, after years of wanting, that he could barely think at all beyond 'more' and 'need' and 'Eddie'.
"Eddie..!" Jason moaned, shuddering and pressing more into the touch.
"Good..?" Eddie asked, and then he did something with his hands that just -- Jason didn't have the words at all, but he wanted to tell Eddie how that made him feel anyway. Eddie laughed warmly at the breathless babble that was all Jason could manage, and kissed his throat. "I love you, too."
****
Eddie washed his hands carefully. It hadn't been as bad as he'd worried about -- his own reaction, of course, not Jason's. He adored watching Jason react to his hands, his kisses... but Eddie knew that he had problems, and there was always that fear that Jason would unwittingly do something to trigger a bad memory.
Eddie rinsed off his hands, holding his hands under the spigot until all the soap suds had vanished down the drain. He dried his hands off on the hand towel nearby and walked back into the bedroom. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation that likely awaited him, but putting it off would just make Jason worry more, no doubt.
Jason was still lounging on the bed -- he'd cleaned up a little, using his discarded shirt from last night to wipe up -- and he opened his eyes at Eddie's approach. His expression was worried, but it cleared when Eddie smiled warmly at him and crawled back into bed.
"Eddie?"
"All clean," Eddie said softly, "I feel better when I'm cleaned up."
"Then by all means," Jason wrapped an arm around him and tugged him closer. Eddie giggled and scooted closer. Jason sounded a little uncertain when he next spoke, asking, "Do... do you want me to...? Can I touch you now? Or is that too much?"
Eddie went quiet, thinking it over. Jason waited patiently for his answer, and Eddie felt even more affection for him in that moment. "I don't know," Eddie said honestly. "We can try..."
"I want to make you feel good, too. But if you don't want to... if you'd rather take care of it yourself, or whatever..."
Eddie took hold of Jason's free hand. "We can try," he repeated, and leaned in to kiss Jason on the mouth. "Go slow for me."
Jason kissed back, soft and sweet and lingering. "Whatever you need from me, Eddie. I love you." Eddie smiled at that and drew his hand in.
****
The next days are spent quietly -- save for Jason's nighttime activities as Nightwing. They've both gone through changes in the years that have gone by, changes in appearance and personality and even beliefs. They've lost a lot of people, through death and otherwise. Eddie is quieter than he used to be; his smiles don't come nearly as easily. Jason is more prone to fidgeting and distraction, quicker to anger (though it often dissipates just as quickly), and he reacts poorly to being surprised. But they're learning how to live together.
Sometimes Eddie wonders how he ever got by without things as they are. By the third night, he finds he can't sleep well without Jason's bulk beside him in the bed (even if Jason constantly kicks the covers all the way off and onto the floor). The evening afterward, Jason asks if Eddie wants to accompany him while he's out 'Nightwinging it'.
"Oh. I... I probably shouldn't," Eddie answers, privately thinking that he'd just slow Jason down. He's out of practice and he was never very good at being Kid Devil... at least, that's what he thinks.
"Busy with some other project?" Jason asks with a smile. The Eddie he knew usually had some kind of idea he was trying to make a reality.
Eddie scratches the back of his neck. It's been a while since he built -- or rebuilt and improved -- anything. "Not lately," he says, "and there's no workshop here, anyway. Though I really should fix the rocket trident."
Jason nods, and then he starts talking about his current case, and Eddie thinks that's the end of it.
Two days later, Jason moves them out of the sublet apartment and into a warehouse in the shipyard. The upper level has been converted into living quarters, and about half of the storage space on the first level is empty.
"Whatever you need for your work," Jason tells Eddie, with a sweeping gesture to the open space, "goes there." He hands Eddie a plain black checkbook. "This is an extra bank account I use to fund my crime-fighting gadgets, so it's no big deal if you use it for your stuff."
Eddie flips open the plastic cover, reading the names on the header of the first blank check (there's no address listed). "Jasper Liu and Ken Malloy?"
"A couple burn IDs I made up. You can sign as Ken Malloy -- don't think I've used 'him' yet." Jason pauses, then taps his chin. "Speaking of 'burn'. I stuck fire extinguishers along the walls at five foot intervals and there's some guys coming tomorrow to install an overhead fire suppression system, so don't set any big fires until then, dude."
"Fire is your thing," Eddie protests.
"And accidental fire is yours," Jason retorts.
Eddie gives him an affronted little shove on the shoulder, and Jason laughs, moving to give Eddie a noogie. Eddie ducks under his arms, and just reacts when Jason spins on one heel to give chase -- he drops to the ground in a crouch and sweeps Jason's leg.
Jason takes the fall, rolling clear of Eddie's range. He beams at Eddie like Eddie did something right, which is damn confusing. "You still got it," he tells the redhead proudly.
Eddie's really not sure if Jason is right.
But with all this space, all this freedom, and -- Eddie opens the balance ledger side of the checkbook and lets out a low whistle -- all this money, it would be a shame not to come up with something that Jason can use as Nightwing.
*-*-*-*