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schizoauthoressTitle: Adventus III: Better (or Worse) Than Chewing Gum
Author: D.L.SchizoAuthoress
Rating: G
Spoilers: Fortress!verse AU -- mostly Superboy v3
Warnings: holiday fluff
Prompt/Fill: "Candy Cane" from the Christmas Advent Prompts list.
Word Count: 731
Summary: Sometimes Superboy forgets that Match knows things but hasn't experienced them yet.
Timeline Note: Part of the Christmas season shown in Adventus I.
Adventus III: Better (or Worse) Than Chewing Gum
A terrible groaning rent the air as Superboy pushed open the front door of the Compound. The young superhero was immediately on his guard, bringing up his aura as a shield (in the configuration that Match had taught him) and thinking "loudly" at Dubbilex. A moment later, he got a fleeting impression of the Police Academy and a picture of Dubbilex putting a lid on a plastic food container about half an hour ago. It meant that Dubbilex had taken food to Roxy today -- and that much of the D.N.Alien's concetration was devoted to maintaining the mental projection of a human appearance.
Superboy huffed. 'Then it's up to me!' he thought determinedly, and flew quickly into the main room, toward the sound. He pulled up short almost as quickly, once he got a good look around.
There were piles of plastic wrappers everywhere. On the floor, heaped next to the lamp on one of the end tables, and all over the couch. Also on the couch, Match was sprawled across all the cushions, both hands resting on his stomach. He was making the terrible noise.
Superboy wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. So he just grabbed a handful of the clear cellophane wrappers strewn across the carpet and shook them in Match's face. "What did you do?"
Match blinked up at him, face contorted in an expression of abject misery. "I used my allowance to purchase a large quantity of... candy canes."
Superboy took a closer look at the cellophane clutched in his hand. An aroma of peppermint clung to the shreds, and a few of them had faint imprints of red or green striping. Dubbilex's monthly stipend from the Agenda had increased since he was now looking after two super-powered clones, and the two of them received an equal weekly allowance each for chores completed around the Compound. Unlike Superboy, Match didn't spend his allowance much, so there was no telling just how much cash he'd blown on Christmas candy.
"Match..." Superboy said slowly, "...dude... did you eat all of them?"
"They were very good." Match made a pained face. "At first."
"Didn't the Agenda bother to tell you what happens when you eat too much candy?" Superboy exclaimed. (He knew that the Agenda hadn't really "told" Match anything, but it was an easy shorthand to refer to the knowledge downloads that they'd equipped the clone with.)
"The downloads mentioned the possibility of gastrointestinal distress following an overindulgence of food," Match admitted, "but I assumed that it was information which only applied to... regular humans."
Superboy slapped a hand to his forehead. A loud crinkle reminded him that he'd just hit himself with the same hand that was holding the candy cane wrappers. He sighed.
"Well, now you know it applies to you, too. You're probably going to throw up if you move, so don't move. I'll clean up this mess before Dub sees it and freaks out."
He had not been expecting this sort of thing when he'd brought Match home to Hawaii. As intelligent as Match was, as impressive as he could be in a fight, he was remarkably lacking in common sense. At least the Cadmus Project had given Superboy a mix of different types of knowledge, even if his downloads hadn't been completed.
Match had been fascinated by hot showers and chocolate bars and chewing gum. Superboy could sympathize -- knowledge downloads gave you a lot of information, but very little context, especially when it came to sensory information. You could know what pancakes and sausage was, you could know how to use a fork and knife to eat the meal, you could know that it was a breakfast food... hell, you could even have a recipe in your head for making pancakes if the scientists thought you ought to know how. But you wouldn't know how they tasted, how they felt in your mouth, how much butter and syrup improved them -- not until you got out of the cloning tube and ate them.
Perhaps he should have seen this coming. Match did like to chew gum. He shook out the new garbage bag he'd pulled out from the box under the kitchen sink.
"Next time," he shouted, "pace yourself."
"Superboy..." Match replied weakly, "there will be no 'next time'."
****
Author: D.L.SchizoAuthoress
Rating: G
Spoilers: Fortress!verse AU -- mostly Superboy v3
Warnings: holiday fluff
Prompt/Fill: "Candy Cane" from the Christmas Advent Prompts list.
Word Count: 731
Summary: Sometimes Superboy forgets that Match knows things but hasn't experienced them yet.
Timeline Note: Part of the Christmas season shown in Adventus I.
Adventus III: Better (or Worse) Than Chewing Gum
A terrible groaning rent the air as Superboy pushed open the front door of the Compound. The young superhero was immediately on his guard, bringing up his aura as a shield (in the configuration that Match had taught him) and thinking "loudly" at Dubbilex. A moment later, he got a fleeting impression of the Police Academy and a picture of Dubbilex putting a lid on a plastic food container about half an hour ago. It meant that Dubbilex had taken food to Roxy today -- and that much of the D.N.Alien's concetration was devoted to maintaining the mental projection of a human appearance.
Superboy huffed. 'Then it's up to me!' he thought determinedly, and flew quickly into the main room, toward the sound. He pulled up short almost as quickly, once he got a good look around.
There were piles of plastic wrappers everywhere. On the floor, heaped next to the lamp on one of the end tables, and all over the couch. Also on the couch, Match was sprawled across all the cushions, both hands resting on his stomach. He was making the terrible noise.
Superboy wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. So he just grabbed a handful of the clear cellophane wrappers strewn across the carpet and shook them in Match's face. "What did you do?"
Match blinked up at him, face contorted in an expression of abject misery. "I used my allowance to purchase a large quantity of... candy canes."
Superboy took a closer look at the cellophane clutched in his hand. An aroma of peppermint clung to the shreds, and a few of them had faint imprints of red or green striping. Dubbilex's monthly stipend from the Agenda had increased since he was now looking after two super-powered clones, and the two of them received an equal weekly allowance each for chores completed around the Compound. Unlike Superboy, Match didn't spend his allowance much, so there was no telling just how much cash he'd blown on Christmas candy.
"Match..." Superboy said slowly, "...dude... did you eat all of them?"
"They were very good." Match made a pained face. "At first."
"Didn't the Agenda bother to tell you what happens when you eat too much candy?" Superboy exclaimed. (He knew that the Agenda hadn't really "told" Match anything, but it was an easy shorthand to refer to the knowledge downloads that they'd equipped the clone with.)
"The downloads mentioned the possibility of gastrointestinal distress following an overindulgence of food," Match admitted, "but I assumed that it was information which only applied to... regular humans."
Superboy slapped a hand to his forehead. A loud crinkle reminded him that he'd just hit himself with the same hand that was holding the candy cane wrappers. He sighed.
"Well, now you know it applies to you, too. You're probably going to throw up if you move, so don't move. I'll clean up this mess before Dub sees it and freaks out."
He had not been expecting this sort of thing when he'd brought Match home to Hawaii. As intelligent as Match was, as impressive as he could be in a fight, he was remarkably lacking in common sense. At least the Cadmus Project had given Superboy a mix of different types of knowledge, even if his downloads hadn't been completed.
Match had been fascinated by hot showers and chocolate bars and chewing gum. Superboy could sympathize -- knowledge downloads gave you a lot of information, but very little context, especially when it came to sensory information. You could know what pancakes and sausage was, you could know how to use a fork and knife to eat the meal, you could know that it was a breakfast food... hell, you could even have a recipe in your head for making pancakes if the scientists thought you ought to know how. But you wouldn't know how they tasted, how they felt in your mouth, how much butter and syrup improved them -- not until you got out of the cloning tube and ate them.
Perhaps he should have seen this coming. Match did like to chew gum. He shook out the new garbage bag he'd pulled out from the box under the kitchen sink.
"Next time," he shouted, "pace yourself."
"Superboy..." Match replied weakly, "there will be no 'next time'."
****
no subject
on 2012-12-08 20:38 (UTC)no subject
on 2012-12-09 07:19 (UTC)It had to be candy canes because of the prompt, but I've always had that idea of clones being overwhelmed by "real" experiences when they've mostly only had the knowledge downloads.