The Poetry Process

[schizoauthoress]

I posted a poem, Swan by Moonlight a few days ago, with the promise that I would scan the page from my notebook that it was written on. I'm not sure why I feel the need to do this. It's like...I have to give something, hold it out for you all to see, proof that I am here and that I am.

The image is a large one, so I put it behind a cut to avoid the killing of friends-list pages.




Just so you know, it was originally written in green pen, but my scanner ate the colors.

Comments

[stormkpr.livejournal.com]

That was really lovely. Thank you for sharing.

[selve.livejournal.com]

Mmm...I love that you did this. Love seeing the three handwritten versions of the poem--it add a whole new layer to it, methinks. I want to go in and interpret (good little English major that I am), but that'll have to wait until after work.

[schizoauthoress.livejournal.com]

I want to go in and interpret

Ooh, please do, Maeve! And I can wait until after your workday...it's bound to be good, coming from you. ^_^

[selve.livejournal.com]

Oh, there's a lot of chew on! The first thing I notice about the poem itself is that it's very tight structurally. There's something nostalgic and old-English about it, too. The imagery is pretty, conveying an archetypally romantic yearning, but this prettiness is almost deceptive.

"The dark bead of his eye" suggests something not so soft; to me, it signifies ambition, fixation, something almost cold and unrelenting. The swan is not content to glide beneath the moon--he wants the moon, although it's not clear to me how. Certainly, the moon is presented as something elusive, seductive; "shrouded in mist" makes me think of a woman in veils (the moon is commonly associated with femininity). And the way you put it--he wants to "see his feathers with silver kissed"--also supports this interpretation.

However, is it the moon he really wants? Or is he merely vain? He frames his desire in terms of himself: he wants to see his feathers kissed with silver. Also, he seems to be ignoring the logistical fact that, simply by being in the moonlight, they already are.

I'm not sure this swan knows what he wants. And the way the poem is visually represented on the page, in three versions, emphasizes this indecision. I don't want to direct you, but I think it might be really cool if the 3rd version had some markups as well. You yourself titled this entry "The Poetry Process," and I think this poem is ultimately most powerful as a process, not the perfect finished product it aims for structurally.

I think that's about it. Let me know if you have any questions or if anything's vague or confusing. I just kind of ran with it, so there it is.

[schizoauthoress.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you. That makes me feel like...like someone famous, someone worthy of analysis. You picked up on the vanity message! Yay! The swan symbolizes, to me, someone who has many lofty goals -- goals aimed at bettering his own situation, not the lives of others. He wants so much to be at the pinnacle of achievement, he misses his chance to make connections. A flight to the moon is a very lonely one, after all.

The final version of the poem on this page is the one that I went with, and though you can't see it, I went crazy trying to figure out how to make it fit a rhyme scheme, as you see it in the last version. I think it's cool that you like it best as a process, because to me, poetry is entirely a process, and we only stop writing a poem when we cannot see anymore the changes that can be made. I'm sure I could have kept going on the one stanza alone, but I felt quite satisfied with where it ended up.

[selve.livejournal.com]

Of course it and you are worthy of analysis! In fact, some more stuff occurred to me.

A flight to the moon is a very lonely one, after all.

That line in and of itself is poetic. It makes me think of the isolation of outer space, its coldness and blackness (like the swan's eye).

I think it's cool that you like it best as a process, because to me, poetry is entirely a process

A process is something dynamic, not static. This poem presents a dynamic pull between a tranquil, sentimental image (a swan by moonlight is a well-used trope), and the inner life of the swan and what the moon represents to him. It's almost as though the swan seeks to break out of his role as a passive subject and create his own reality, alien as that might be. The thought of this swan flying towards outer space gives me shivers! It's like a fable or a myth.